Sadness

You have probably seen it all over the news; four dead, including officer, in a sniper attack in Moscow, ID. I am still in shock. I can't believe that this really happened.

Lee Newbill was the officer killed in the shooting. He is the first officer to be killed in the line of duty on the Moscow police force. He was also a very good friend of my family's. The horse pictured in my profile picture was his once; in fact, Lee was the man who sold us our horses. He was the officer that I interviewed for drivers-ed. He was the man that you always wanted to be at the Hog Heaven Muzze Loader meetings and outings because if he wasn't there it was extremely boring. He was the guy whom everyone liked. He was married and had three kids. He is gone. I will never see him again. I will miss him a lot. And none of us got to say goodbye.

You never think that these kind of things will happen to you. They always happen to everyone else and you say, "I'm so sorry for your loss," and forget about it. Oh, how I wish that I was the one giving my sympathies and not the one receiving them. I hate this feeling of grief and loss and I wish I could just get it out of my head. I wish I could somehow turn back the clock and prevent it from happening.

It was 7:40 AM when we got the call yesterday morning. Ben and Dad had just left to go to a car wash for the Boy Scouts. Mom answered the phone and as I rolled out of bed, I could hear what sounded like Mom crying as she went outside. When she came back inside from feeding the chickens, she told me that Lee had been shot by a sniper and was dead. I couldn't believe it. My first instinct was to pray that he would get better and then I realized that he was gone. The tears came. The egg McMuffin that I had made was left uneaten; I didn't eat anything until after we got home from church.

At church, everyone knew about the shooting. This is one of the biggest things that has ever happened in Moscow. Mom didn't sing on the worship team but I decided to play my fiddle anyway. I was hard to hold back the tears especially during "Blessed be Your Name" during the bridge:
You give and take away, You give and take away
My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name

As I helped with Sunday school for the kids, I was able to take my mind off the shooting. I decided that when I got home, I wanted to spend the rest of the day with the Bauers to do the same thing.

I ended up spending six and a half hours at their house that afternoon. I really needed the diversion.

This morning, Lee's wife, Becky, called and asked if I would play my fiddle for the memorial service that is to be held at the Kibbie Dome in remembrance of Lee. I gladly accepted but with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. I wasn't able to eat this morning either.

I ask for all your prayers as we go through this tough time. I also hope you will pray for Lee's family that they would be comforted through this whole thing and that they would come to Jesus through it all.

Thank you,
Melissa